A dear friend of mine sent me this article and I thought it was worthy of sharing with all my family and friends... If you're a military spouse, you'll find this article to be very true!!! And if you're anything like me, I'm pretty sure you've asked the "Why" question once or twice before...We, military spouses, never actually raised our hands to enlist, but by marrying a member of the Armed Services, we "volunteered" for more than any of us could have ever imagined...So, for many of my friends, as well as, military spouses everywhere...I would also like to thank you for your "volunteered" military service on Veteran's Day too!!!
This article written by Norris Burkes
This Veteran's Day I couldn't help but think of the documentary I brought home a few months ago...My wife doesn't especially care for documentaries, particularly the news this one was about to bring. "Baghdad ER" is a documentary that HBO says "captures the humanity, hardships and heroism of the U.S. military and medical personnel of the 86th Combat Support Hospital . . ."
I said, "I want us to watch this movie together," ....There was nothing subtle in my approach... My wife saw right through it and knew I was carrying it along with some news of my own. So before she could respond, I answered the question I already saw on her face."The Air Force needs a chaplain VOLUNTEER for their hospital at Balad Air Base in Iraq. The hospital is specifically requesting a 'hospital-trained chaplain' for a four-month deployment... I also hurried to add: "It's a Level 1 trauma center, which does over 1,200 surgical procedures each month. They help everyone -- military, civilians and contractors as well as Iraqi soldiers, police, civilians and even detainees."She stared at me, stuck on one word: "VOLUNTEER."
The thoughts of the military spouse upon hearing the word "VOLUNTEER" aren't normally as altruistic as those of the military member... Who could blame her if she suddenly exclaimed, "What makes you think I'm not the actual volunteer here?... I would be volunteering for four months of solo parenting!... I'd be volunteering to be single - living a separate life for the next four months!... Instead, Becky simply said, "We'll watch it after dinner."
After dinner we talked about the mutual meaning of the word "volunteer." We talked about everything from kids to car problems.We talked about updating our wills. I tried to soothe her with the fact that there hasn't been a chaplain killed in the line of duty since the Vietnam War...Not surprisingly, she found that factoid devoid of comfort...I told her the pay would be great -- especially with hazardous duty pay....Again, I got nowhere, not even when I mentioned the $3.33 per day separation pay.
"Why do you want to do this?", she asked... Ah, the "WHY" of it all."
I said, giving a commonly offered solution in the conflict between military members and their spouses...."If I retired, I wouldn't have to go!"...She wasn't biting. -
"WHY?" she repeated. -"WHY do you want to go?"
"I want to go because I want to help," I said, unable to state it more profoundly than that... "They need hospital chaplains. I'm one. I can't sit here while they declare they need someone. It's a need I know how to fill."
After nearly a week of discussion, she said, "You need to go! You need to feel you've done your share... I understand!"... It was at that point, I composed my e-mail accepting the assignment. I called her to the computer and let her proofread the e-mail. Then I asked her to do a difficult thing. "I want us to share this decision. Would you be willing to press the 'send' button?" Her index finger hovered over the keyboard in hesitation. Then, she clicked "send" with a definitive push. - She did understand.
So this month, I have a favor to ask. As you offer a grateful handshake to a veteran, turn to their spouse and say, "Thanks for your understanding." After all, most of them have certainly done more than they've ever "VOLUNTEERED" to do.
Burkes will leave for Balad after Christmas. He plans to continue writing his column while he is deployed. Visit ww.balad.afcent.af.mil.
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